Pain of the past

Darkness closing in all around me, unable to move or speak, trapped and aching, agony all around, consuming me. I want to scream, I need to scream, but I can’t, my throat is dry and my lips won’t move. I’m going to die this time, I’m not going to make it I…

“NOOOO!” I scream, bolting upright in bed, my body soaked with sweat and I’m shaking badly. I look over to my bedside clock, and see that it’s three in the morning. I won’t get back to sleep now, and after that nightmare I don’t want to.

I get up and go to the shower, washing away the sweat and dirt, rubbing my skin till it’s red and raw, before I get dressed in my school robes and collect my books for the day. I put the book in my bag along with quills, parchment and ink. Then I look at my clock again, it’s now four, which means breakfast doesn’t start for another three hours.

I’m not staying in the common room or my dorm though, and I head out, going towards an empty class room to sit and think. The same nightmare, the last time my parents trapped me, the last time I had to escape from them. I sigh and immerse myself in the memory.

I wake up from a deep slumber, rubbing my eyes and looking at the clock. To my horror it is six thirty in the morning. I rush around getting showered and dressed, but by time I’m finished it is already seven. I hurry down stairs, and father and mother are waiting for me.

“You are an hour late up Liza,” says father in a disappointed tone, and I tremble.
“I overslept sir, I’m sorry,” I say politely, keeping my head down, biting my lip as mother casts ‘Crucio’ on me. I draw blood but remain silent, knowing is I scream it will be worse.
“Do not give excuses Liza, you are a disgrace to the name Fey! Why, you’ll probably end up with some tainted scum, a Half-blood or Mudblood,” says mother with a sneer, and I am horrified.

My mother and father have always taught me that anything that wasn’t Pure was wrong. For her to say what she said, I want to cry, but I force my tears back.
“I won’t madam, I will do better, I promise,” I swear, and my parents exchange a look.
“Did you just contradict me?” asks mother, and all too late I realise my mistake.
“I…I didn’t…I…” I stammer, trying to find the right words as a joint Crucio hits me. I am unprepared and I scream in agony, falling to the floor in pain.

“You are weak Liza, you always have been and you always will be, you’ll end up like Liam!” shouts my father, and they cast a dark enchantment on me, one of the most Arcane they know I should think. Darkness closing in all around me, unable to move or speak, trapped and aching, agony all around, consuming me. I want to scream, I need to scream, but I can’t, my throat is dry and my lips won’t move. I’m going to die this time, I’m not going to make it. I haven’t got my wand, I cannot speak a counter curse.

I am petrified, not sure what to do. My body convulses and twists, and in my mind I start screaming, screaming every counter curse I can think off, screaming for the pain to stop, screaming silently in my mind. There comes the sound of an explosion, and then black…

When I had awoken, I had been told that my parents were dead, part of the house had been blown up, and I was to go and stay with my cousin Viktor. I remember it all, and as I sit on a desk in that lonely classroom I cry, not for my parents, but for the child hood I missed because of them, what I was put through.

I walk silently through the empty corridor - I'd just been down to the kitches, knitting again for all the houseelves down there. At least someone appriciates me, even if they are elves who work in a kitchen - when I heard the sound of someone sobbing nearby. Curious, I quickened my pace, looking in everyclassroom along the way, when I met one, where I saw someone in there, and walked through the door. Liza. I run up to her sytraight, and hug her "Liza! I demand you tell me whats wrong!" I say in a mildly cautious, scared even tone. Its not like Liza at all to be as upset as this.

I stiffen in shock and surprise, for two reasons. I'm not used to hugs, and I don't normally allow people to see me crying. I try to stop my sobbing and I take some deep breaths, still crying despite my efforts to stop.
"It's nothing, I had a nightmare," I mutter, relaxing a little and allowing myself to be comforted.

I hold her at arms lengh "And this nightmare was about...?" I question, tilting my head ad furrowing my brow.

"M...m...my pa...parents," I stammer, feeling fear grip me as I think about them.
"The l..last time they tr...trapped me."

I try to calm down, I know they're dead, but I'm still terrified of the memories.
"I was late up, they hurt me, trapped me, and the pain...I blew up part of the house..."

"You blew up the house? Did... then they died" I say, adding the last part slowly, quietly. I feel dead bad fr Liza, and feel like I should do something, like the time twister, but it might be so much work, I wouldn'tknow how far back to go or anything.

"I was trapped, I couldn't do anything, I couldn't scream or move. I just screamed in my mind, I yelled and shouted and I just paniced in my mind, and there was an explosion...and when I woke up I was told my parents were dead and part of the house was gone...I killed them," I say, whispering the last part as I break down in sobs again. I hate the idea of killling anyone, I always did.

"Oh no!" I exalaim, hugging her again "Is it the fact you killed your parents, or just killing someone, or ruining your house, or living with Viktor.. or what?" I ask, knoing full well the answer, but as long as she kept talking she might feel beter.

I try to answer but my sobs choke me. It takes a few mintes before I'm calm enough to speak.
"I don't like the idea of killing someone, I never did and thats why my parents pushed me so hard. Viktor didn't understand, he thought I was a mini deatheater and treated me like one. I never had the chance to change how I was, I never...never..." I break off and start to cry again. This is the worst breakdown I've had since the incident.

Oh bloody hell, she was really bad right now. "It's okay" I say, patting her back, and sneaking a look at the large clock illuminating the wall. It was 5:00. 2 hours to rising time. "Liza, do you want to come up to the Gryffindor tower? Its against rules, I know, but if you don't want to be alone, you can lie under my bed" I realise how stjpid the last part sounded, and stifle a small laugh

I stifle a small laugh, "I would, but wouldn't Wea..Ron and Harry notice me coming down? I don't want anyone to know about my nightmares," I say, my tears beginning to slow down slightly. I think about what she suggested, and realise it probably wouldn't be that bad, because A, I'm already ready for the day, and B, the Griffindors porbably wouldn't mind, because they've warmed to me since the Draco plot.

"Come on" I grab her arm and lead her up the numerous staircases that led to Gryffindor tower. I mutter "Patronus" and walk through to the common room.

I look at the common room in awe, it's so warm.
"Wow, this place looks so homey and nice, it's so warm in here," I say quietly as I look around, admiring it and the soft looking red sofas.
"The Slytherin common room is so harsh and cold, we have leather sofas in green, and no fire most of the time."

"Oh my, it must be cold" I exclaim, still holding Lizas arm. I pull her up to the Girls Dormentary, and motion towards an empty bed I just noticed where Vicki Frobisher usually sleeps. I don't quite know where she is. "You can go there. We only have an hour left, so get some sleep."

I go an sit on the empty bed, surprised at how soft it is. I bouce up and down silently for a minute, thinking how much better the Gryffindors have it compared to the Slytherins.
"Thanks Mione," I say softly as I lie back on the bed, smiling. I close my eyes but I can't sleep, I'm too scared the nightmare will come back.

I open my eyes halfway and see that Liza's still awak "Liza. Is it because of the nightmare?" I whisper "If it is, I don't know what to say, but try to rest at least, think of something else."

I turn and look at her, and give her a half-hearted smile.
"I'll be okay thanks," I whisper, "I'll just try to rest a little, I'm used to not getting much sleep though,"
I close my eyes and try to rest. It's difficult though.

" 'K, night" I say quietly.
---~1 hour later IZIT THO BRRAAAP lmfao~---

I wake up ith a yawn and see Liza still had her eyes open. Great. "Liza, come on.. oh, you're already dressed.."

I sit up and rub my eyes, I'm majorly tired, but I'm used to it. I wave my hands in frount of my face, muttering some incantations, and I look like I've had a decent night's sleep, the bags under my eyes dissapearing and my hair going into it's normal style.
"Morning Hermione," I say with a yawn as I stretch and get out of bed, muttering another incantation so the creases leave my robes.
"Did you sleep okay?"

"Yeah thanks" I say with a grin, trying to think of a way to cheer her up, ad then get an idea from her incantations. "Incantations are so dumb, make Liza Fey suck her thumb" I say, laughing as I Use another incantation to get dressed quickly, as everyone else had already left the Dorm.

I start sucking my thumb, and wordlessly I wave my free hand and Hermione starts making piggy noises. I wave my hand again and I stop sucking my thumb so I can laugh loudly.
"Hehehe!"

I wave my hand at myself again to stop the snorting and narrow m eyes at Liza, "Come on, we have class" I say, adding in a sing song voice "Things are going to be fun,round here, as Liza'll look like Snape, and act like a deer" And I start howling with laughter, as Liza transfigurates into Snape, and starts running around the room on all fours.

I think of something in my head, and Hermione transforms into McGonagol and starts flapping about like a bird.
"Look at the bird," I caw to myself in Snape's voice as I straighten up, and then I have an idea.
"This could be fun," I say, mutting someing so Hermione stops flapping but still looks like the proffessor.

"Oh no.. no no no" I say "We have tests. Big tests. No" If she's thinking what I think she's thinking, then this whole thing is bad.

"Oh come on, the tests arn't until this afternoon, think of all the fun we could have! Who's going to question Snape and McGonnigal?" I say cojolingly, trying to convince her.
"I mean, this could be a great opitunity for stuff."